முனைவர் ஜ.பிரேமலதா,தமிழ் இணைப்பேராசிரியர், அரசு கலைக் கல்லூரி, சேலம் 636 007 தொலைபேசி 9488417411 DR.J.PREMALATHA,ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR IN TAMIL,GOVT ARTS COLLEGE,SALEM -636 007.PH:9488417411

Sunday, 29 June 2014

IT IS A CURSE TO BE A WOMAN



IT IS A CURSE TO BE A WOMAN
by A.Priyangah

There was a loud bang. The noise was almost defeaning. The door had splintered and fallen to the floor. Kamala whilred around in shock. A gigantic figure was standing there. The hands of the figure were covered in blood. As though it had taken an huge amount of effort to cut down the lock of the door.
                In a swift motion, before kamala could realize What had happened, the figure had started searching and upturning all the contents of the nearby cupboards.
                Without thinking for a moment, kamala started clutching the figure’s hands and tried stopping it from whatever it was doing. For a split second, she didn’t realise what happened, then the pain came her head was burning like anything. The figure had pursued her with so much force that kamala’s head had collected with a nearby oak table.
                The pain was extremely unbelievable. Blood was flowing as though all it wanted was only freedom. Her eyes started tuning misty.  She could not see clearly.
                Fearing she might not open her eyes, if she closed them even for a moment, she started straining her eyes to stay awake.
                Before her she could see the figure searching the dustbins, turning all its contents on the floor.
                Memories came flooding ,she saw the figure helplessly. . . .
                Her  head pained like anything to even think but the thoughts can flowing into her mind.
                It is said that only at the times of death that the entire life of us, or as much as we remember them, come before us.
                Kamala’s earliest memories were those of the orphanage. She was told that her mother had left her there, since an fourth girl child was not welcome to the family. Kamala knew nothing of love and affection. She grew under the horrible conditions for most of her childhood.
                It was all until vikram came into her life she was fourteen years then and a full woman. Vikram was 5 years elder than her. He was sent there by his aunt and uncle because his parents had died in an Accident. He came from a wealthy background. The filthy conditions of the orphanage were unbelievable to him , he even tried to commit suicide unable to withstand anymore. It was kamala who came to his rescue. The scenes came alive before her eyes.
                Soon they had become friends sharing everything about their past lives. Kamala liked vikram a lot. At first, even vikram who thought her only as his friend developed a liking towards her. Kamala was childish, but bold at times and above all carrying and affectionate. They were an perfect couple. Vikram soon joined to work in a construction site as a laborer. As soon as he had enough money, both vikram and kamala rented a home and moved there.
She remembered how life was wonderful for both of them. But it hurt kamala to see vikram working hard at the site while she was idle at home. So she strated to learn stitching and spent her time helping the neighborhood women with their dresses. Soon vikram moved to an bigger company, this time, as the supervisor.
The images were moving faster now.
It was her delivery date. She was rushed to the hospital. There was only pain. And when she opened her eyes vikram was clutching a small bundle in his hand. It was a baby boy. Tear welled in her eyes.
Kamala thought how the rest of her life was spent by bringing up Pratap. Those were the happiest days of her life. She would wonder at times, how God had been grateful to her for all the wonderful moments.
Terrible scenes came unfolding now…….the arguments between vikram and her…..he had changed…………..he had gotten to the habit of returning late at night…………sometimes only at dawn. And then never…………….
She closed her eyes…………..tears were flowing across her cheeks……vikram had left her for his boss, an wealthy widower.

                                       
Kamala thought sadly……..all these times he was with her since their time in the orphanage, the only thing he ever had in mind was to become wealthy again and kamala had foolishly thought it to be love.
She opened her eyes again, Pratap……….unable to hear the separation of vikram she turned her anger towards the only victim ,pratap. She started to shout at him for meager things. Afraid that she might hurt him she had put him in a boarding school.
She would only see him once in there months and it surprised Kamala at times now fast he could grew.
She closed her eyes again and the memories came too forcefully…
Pratap was 18 years old, when he had finished schooling. With colourful marks, he had joined as esteemed college. But it was only after that he began to changed. At first, kamala had thought it was due to the load, but when pratap lost more and more weight she took him aside to ask his problem. As expected, he refused it. But the problems kept on coming. This staffs spoke about him. Soon she heard what was wrong.
Her son had become an drug addict.
He denied it whenever she questioned him about it.
At first she too had tried to believe him but soon it came to light. Sensing that hostel was his main store for drugs. She had taken him home.
She tried to face him to come out of it but he was stubborn.
She stared helplessly at the figure before her. She had removed all his drugs from home and had tried to lock him up in a room so that he would forget about it.
But his rage was overwhelming.
Now he was standing before her. The syringe in his arm injecting himself.
It brought kamala back to reality she tried to move but her entire body had become numb.
 She thought helplessly about her state. No family to care about her, no friends to help, not even her son now. Her life had become empty. She closed her eyes. The world swirled around her and slowly, very slowly there was blackness around her….

Whatever Happens Life Moves on


Whatever Happens Life Moves on
by.A.Priyangah

                The day had finally arrived the day that Jenni was waiting for nearly two to three years. She woke up at dawn, dressed in her best dress, and drove by herself to the airport. Someone special was coming today. Very special.....The person she loved ......Mike.
                As she drove, she had a smile on her lips. She was thinking the wonderful moments they had together.
                Mike’s dad and her dad were partner at business. So naturally the families were close. Mike was her elder by an year. Her early memories were of hatred toward him. How funny, she thought.
                I had even hated him once.
                He used to always tease her. It made her angry. Real angry. She remembered her mother recall something about their childhood. Once she hated him so much that she refused to go to school for a week just because he was attending the same school as hers.
                But it had all slowly changed. The mike she so much hated, turned into an handsome, young man. He was the spects captain at high school. All the girls begged to be his girlfriend. It surprised Jenni to know, she instead of despscing it, felt jealous.
                It did not take long for mike to realize it too. They slowly stated to each other formally, then acquaintances, friends and finally. . . . . . .
                It was valentine’s day, Jenni was lying curted in her bed crying. Mike had told her that he was going to propose the girl he loued. He had not called all day. It was evening. Jenni was sure it was cherry, the school Beauty.
                She knew that cherry loved mike too.
                Phone call. Jenni’s heart was beating fast. She was 100% sure it was mike.
                She picked the phone.
                ‘Hello’, she was trembling.
                ‘Hello, Jenni’, it was Mike. Jenni was almost crying in happiness.
                ‘Yup, Mike, what’s up?’ Jenni could not the hide the excitement that lubbled in her voice.
                ‘I need some help, Jenni. I’m afraid. Only you can help me. Will you?’ said Mike/
                Always Mike. What is it?
                ‘I’m scared to propose her, Jenni, the girl that I told you. I can’t just tell those words to her I’m afraid of rejection what do I do?’,
                Jenni’s world has shattered at those words she forced herself to remain calm. She had hoped that he would love her too. But, who was she kidding? Mike would never belong to her. He loved someone else. She said slowly.
                ‘Listen, Mike. It’s nothing. Be cool.’
                Don’t be silly, No girl Would ever tell no to you. Just tell her, she’s really lucky and I’m sure she would be really really happy with you, Just tell it.’
                Alright, Jenni. As you say, I love you’.
                ‘What?’
                ‘Ya, I love you, You’re the Girl, Jenni You’re the one. Do you love me?’
                Jenni could still remember the moments as fresh as they were then of course, she said yes and they chatted all night long. They spoke about everything and nothing.
                In the morning, Both of them were incredibly in love with each other.
                The days were all amazing.
                Their parents knew it all along and they did not object. They couldn’t have expected better.
                They stayed together almost all the time. Every minute they could space, they saw each other, walked with each other, about each together.
                They grew up together. But fate had something else in mind, mike waited desperattly to do MBA.
                The opportunity came, but far away. In a University called Berkelyn in Australia.
                He had to go. It was how for Jenny to leave him. Both had cried on the day of depature.
                ‘I promise I’ll be back soon’
                His last words were still ringing in her ears.
                There years. The word ‘soon’ meant three years.
she was waiting for almost an hour.
                But it did not matter to Jenni, for she had waited for 3 years, what it do to wait for an hour?
                There he was Mike. She could b                ravely recognize him. He had grown hair and styled it in spikes. He had even pierced his ears. As much as was surprised, she was happy to be at his side again.
                Mike hugged his parents and then came to Jenni. He had a puzzled expression on his face. The smile faded from Jenni’s lips. He does not know who I am.
                He hugged her. ‘Hi, Jenni you turned beautiful’
                Jenni was taken aback by his hug but smiled and hugged him back.
                How could she think so stupid?
                How could like forget her? After all he loved her.
                Early the next day, Jenni went to Mike’s home. He was still sleeping. She sat in a chair near his bed, watching him sleep.
                Beneath all those horrible makeup and hair, he was still the same old Mike.
                ‘every day form then, Jenni went to see him, to talk him. But Jenni was in for a surprise, or more a shock.
                As much as he looked like the old mike, he had changed.
                He talked with her, hugger her, spent time with her, but there was no love.
                It was like, he did everything because he had to do it.
                Jenni only could remain helpless. Mike chatted all night, all day with his friends in Australia. He constantly told Jenni how hot the girls were and modern.
                He even asked her to change her old fashioned ways of dressing and looks.
                It was like, he wanted her to change if she had to be with him.
                Mike look his father’s business. For Jenni, he seemed to have matured a lot. It look Jenni a long time to realize that the person she once loved was gone.
                The person now with her was a complete stranger to her.
                Of course it took months to accept the reality, but she had finally accepted the fact that, this mike did not belong to her.
                She stopped seeing him, going to his house and he never bothered to even think of Jenni.
                And slowly but finally, Jenni learned to Move on in life, Putting her pasts behind her.. . . .. .
               

AWARNESS


AWARNESS
by A.Priyangah

            It happened again. He was caught. This time by his father, the more he tried to hide it the more the emotions came flooding over. He felt embrassed. In one swift motion, he stood up. Walked to the door and closed it in a bang. The more he thought of it, the more depressed he felt. But something more swallowed all his feelings. He fell down on his bed and went into deep slumber.
            Rahul’s father was standing in the doorway apparently shocked. He returned and sat on the sole. His wife hurried to his side.
“You know it rite” was all he could ask. His wife nodded admist deep sobs.
            He had felt he knew more about his son than anyone else but what he saw shoked him. But he knew he must do something.
            Rahul had been an only child and lone Grandchild. So he was given more than enough attention and pampering than he had always needed.
            True to theory, he grew up to be a rude and disobeying boy.
            But he feared his father. It was his father who had kept him under contro. This was why he never liked to share anything with his father.
            It was his mother that he told, shared and asked anything for, be it marks, friends, money etc., But being the mother of an single child was yet another difficulty.
            His mother didn’t know whether to encourage her son’s actions or to control them. But she let him do things his way since she loved him a lot.
            Rahul was the most sought after builly of his gang.
            He has at first refused to many things his friends had asked him to do, but he had also wanted to be their gang leader.
            So and so he learned a lot from them. May be even things he shouldn’t he started smoking with them.
            At first it was only to gain their attention, but then it became uncontrollable.
            Soon he started taking alcohol. He had felt worst and fearful in the beginning. But to his surprise his friends encouraged him.
            It had then become an habit.
            However it was only an month ago, he saw a friend of his using injections on himself.
            It didn’t make any sense to him at first. But slowly he came to know that they were drugs. Nothing could stop him now.
            One small try wouldnot make a big deal he thought. But that was all was needed.
            It felt wonderful for him.
            He got addicted.
            Rahul was once caught by his mother, for consuming alcohol, but he had silenced her by telling that he did all that only for his friends and that he would stop it in a few days.
            At that time, his mother has believed him too. She thought he would stop.
            But she was wrong.
            The next day when rahul woke up. He saw someone sitting at his bedside. He sat up started . it was his father.
            It was only then he remembered the incidents of the previous night. He feared. He knew his father was a hard man. But the expression on his father’s face took him by surprise.
            His father looked as though he had cried all night.
His father started speaking after a brief moment’s silence, “will you please listen to what I’m saying?”
Rahul nodded.
His father continued. “I would like to tell you a story from my childhood. When I was a little boy, I used to see my father drinking coffee everyday. He enjoyed drinking it. The very smile in his face reflected that.
It was then that this seed of desire was soon in my mind. I too wanted it.
But as a child, my desire was refused.
I became adamant. I gathered strength until I threw up a tantarum.
The coffee was given to me.
Eventhough it tasted a little bitter and different, it was peppered and flavoured by my feelings, by how much I had to struggle to attain it.
So I loved it a lot.
It was where it started. I drank it in the morning everyday, because I had a deep belief that it fueled my day.
Not one day was complete without having in the morning.
But after consuming it for nearly 20 years, I started having problems.
There was acidity, excess of bile and a lasting headache, but I couldnot stop it. I had become addicted.                            
It was one fine day, that I was drinking it like every other day, you who were a little child crawled towards and asked for it. It was exactly the same, u started crying when it was refused.
Only then I became aware of how a simple up of coffee had chained me to it invisibly for that half an hour experience every morning and evening.
And I realized that you would also become bound to it, just like I was.
“I stopped drinking it then, for your sake.”
His father continued, ‘I know you too are addicted to drugs. Let me tell you something as a personal experience. There are three steps to come out of addiction. The first step is awareness. The second step is awareness. The third step is awareness.
Awareness liberated us from these enslaving habits’.
‘Once you become aware of how it influences you, I’m sure you’ll come out of it’.
‘And last of all, please don’t demolish the high hopes we have on you.’
So, saying Rahul’s father patted him on the shoulder and left the room.
That evening when he entered the house, he enquired his wife about Rahul.
She told him that he had been confined in his room all day.
He slowly opened his son’s room, he saw Rahul busy cleaning his room and arranging his stuff in place.
He smiled to himself.
He knew he was also cleaning his soul……